


Bar Fight

by sonofthanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Fights, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Protective Tweek, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 00:59:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17909006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: Clyde gets fake IDs and the gang goes to Denver!





	Bar Fight

Craig leaned back on his bed. Tweek, giggling, chased his lips and pressed him down. As they kissed, Craig slowly ran his hand up Tweek's chest, unbuttoning his shirt before running his hands across the pale skin and reached around Tweek's back.  
  
Tweek, moaning, kissed Craig deeply, reaching up and sliding his hand under Craig's hat and threw it aside, running his fingers through his boyfriend's so rarely seen black hair.  
  
Craig gasped at the feeling, and slid his hands lower, gripping Tweek's hips, letting his fingertips brush against the sensitive small of his back...  
  
The door banged open. "Hey guys!"  
  
Both boys froze. Slowly, reluctantly, they broke their lips apart and turned as one. Clyde stood there, grinning at them.  
  
Tweek squeaked and tried to pull back, but Craig firmly held him in place. "What do you want, Clyde?"  
  
"I have something awesome to show you!" With a flourish Clyde pulled two cards out of his pocket and held them out.  
  
"Couldn't this wait for another time?" Craig asked carefully, trying to force his anger down.  
  
"I'm too excited!"  
  
Slowly, with great reluctance, Craig shifted and allowed Tweek to pull back. The blonde turned bright red and frantically started buttoning his shirt again while Craig glared at Clyde, who was grinning widely at them.  
  
With a sigh, Craig recognized the fastest way to get back to his previous task was to get rid of Clyde, so he took the cards and stared at them.  
  
"You got us fake IDs?"  
  
Tweek squawked. "GAH! WE'RE GOING TO BE ARRESTED!"  
  
Clyde shook his head. "It's fine. These are really good! There's a bar in Denver that doesn't really card anyways. We'll go there this weekend and get a cheap hotel, then finally hit up a bar! Token's already agreed to drive us."  
  
Craig stared flatly at him. "No."  
  
"Come on Craig! Don't be a boring old man!" Before Craig could respond, Clyde changed tactics. "Tweek, think about it; a weekend without parents, without work, just fun."  
  
"What if they catch us? OH JESUS!"  
  
"They won't. Besides, you and Craig can share a hotel room and put a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door."  
  
"Clyde..." Craig warned. He could see what the brunette was doing.  
  
"Think about it. Cuddling in the car, an adventure together, curled up in a hotel, breakfast in bed, and no parents to get in your way. I'll even promise not to bug you until you text in the morning!"  
  
Tweek hesitated. "It...it could be fun..." He looked at Craig. "If...if Craig wants to...I want to go."  
  
Craig closed his eyes and silently cursed Clyde. The annoying boy knew full well that Craig could never deny Tweek anything, and shamelessly used that to get what he wanted out of them.  
  
"Fine." He agreed. He looked firmly at Clyde. "If we get arrested I'm selling you to another prisoner for protection."  
  
"Deal!" Clyde agreed.  
  
"Good. Now get out."  
  
Laughing, Clyde headed to the door. "Enjoy your cooking."  
  
Tweek looked confused. "Cooking?"  
  
Clyde smirked knowingly at them. "You're making your favourite recipe: Out!"  
  
Craig's brow furrowed. "We're making ou-" Suddenly getting it, he grabbed his shoe off the ground and flung it straight at Clyde.  
  
Clyde quickly ducked to avoid the shoe and ran out laughing, mercifully closing the door behind him.  
  
Tweek sat down on Craig's bed cautiously. "Are you OK with this?"  
  
Craig offered him a small smile. "It'll be fun to get out for a while."  
  
Tweek nodded. He smiled mischievously. "Should we start cooking again?"  
  
Craig's eyebrows raised. "You've been hanging out with Clyde too much."  
  
Tweek shut him up by kissing him again.

  
  
  
Saturday dawned. Craig packed an overnight bag, made up a story for his parents, then headed to Clyde's house. It turned out he was the last one there; the others were all gathered around. Clyde was bouncing off the walls with excitement. Token's car was by far the nicest so it was a smooth ride. Jimmy got shotgun automatically; it was easier for him to get in and out that way.  
  
The drive to Denver was uneventful; Jimmy tried out some new jokes while Token drove. Tweek, sandwiched between Craig and Clyde in the back seat, kept pulling out his new fake ID and staring at it, hoping he wouldn't end up in jail.  
  
Clyde glanced at him with a smile. "Don't worry Tweek, this is going to be awesome!"  
  
Tweek nodded. "Thank you for getting this for me."  
  
"Of course! You get all the benefits of being our friend; you're included on the cool adventures, you get to enjoy our jokes, and when you finally realize how much better you can do we'll help you dump this loser and find a better boyfrie-AAAH!" Clyde yelped as Craig reached over and slapped him upside the head.  
  
Tweek giggled and wrapped his arm around Craig. "Be nice to Clyde."  
  
"Thanks Tweek! I'm officially upgrading you to 'best friend' and demoting Craig."  
  
"I can live with that." Craig said flatly.  
  
Clyde smirked at him. "You'd be heartbroken if I left."  
  
Craig rolled his eyes, but Tweek could see him fighting a smile.  
  
  
  
  
They got into Denver about 6 and checked into their hotel rooms. They were able to get connected rooms, so Craig and Tweek had one while their friends had the other.  
  
They went for dinner, then Clyde directed them to a random bar somewhere. It didn't look like anything special to Craig, but Clyde acted like it was the promised land. He leapt out of the car and almost dragged them after him in his hurry.  
  
As Clyde charged ahead, Craig glanced at Token curiously. "I've been meaning to ask you: how did Clyde ever talk you into this?"  
  
Token smiled sheepishly. "Well, he put this whole guilt trip on me about drunk driving and buses, and then he told me he'd talked you into it. I didn't want to miss out."  
  
Craig paused. "Wait. When he came to me he told me you were already coming."  
  
Both boys stared at each other, then turned to look at Clyde, who grinned at them. "You both agreed, so technically I didn't lie. I'm just ahead of my time!"  
  
Tweek and Jimmy giggled at the dumbfounded expressions on their faces and dragged them in. The bouncer barely glanced at their IDs.  
  
The inside of the bar was even less impressive than the outside. There were what looked like some college kids playing pool and darts, but aside from that and the tables there wasn't anything of interest. Craig couldn't see the appeal for the life of him. Clyde, on the other hand, lit up like a Christmas tree and immediately lay claim to a table in the middle where he had a good view of the college girls. A waitress came by and Clyde flirted shamelessly with her while he and Craig ordered beers. Token, being responsible, stuck to water,  while Tweek went with Spanish Coffee and Jimmy tried some weird cocktail none of them had heard of before.  
  
As they enjoyed their drinks and chatted, Craig had to admit that it was nice. It was pretty cool to feel like adults and hang out in a bar, even if had mostly emptied after a while; there was some drunk frat guys yelling nonsense at the bar, but aside from them the only other person was the waitress. Clyde was totally in his element, flirting and laughing while Jimmy kept them in stitches. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.  
  
Naturally, that jinxed it. Clyde, giggling madly, leaned back and knocked into one of the frat guys, who ended up spilling beer all over himself.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The guy demanded. Clyde looked back.  
  
"Hey man, I'm sorry, I-"  
  
"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY?" The guy raged, glaring down at him. A waitress hurried over.  
  
"Is everything-"  
  
"No! This loser just dumped my beer all over me!"  
  
"Hey." The guy glared at Craig, who stared back impassively. "It was an accident and he said he's sorry. We can get you another beer."  
  
"Screw you, faggot!"  
  
Craig slowly stood up, staring the guy in the eye and shifting to ensure he was between the guy and Tweek. "Don't use that word."  
  
Clyde stood up too, now looking angry. Jimmy looked frustrated as Token started easing him out of the way; it killed him that his friends always tried to protect him in a fight. The drunk guy's other friends came over quickly and tried to talk him down.  
  
"Hey man, they're not worth it, come on."  
  
"Screw that!" The guy stepped straight into Craig's personal space and glared into his eyes. "You want to go, tough guy?"  
  
"Not really." Craig kept his voice flat; he desperately wanted to check on Tweek but he didn't dare give this guy an opening. Clyde quickly made his way around to stand behind Craig. "We apologized, we offered to get you a beer."  
  
"Fuck your beer!" The guy grabbed Craig and shoved him hard; he crashed into Clyde, who caught him angrily, all geared up for a fight.  
  
Nobody could have predicted what happened next. The drunkest gambler in Vegas wouldn't have put a nickel on it with 1,000,000,000 to 1 odds.  
  
With a hysterical scream, a blonde missile flew past them and smashed into the drunk guy, it's fist hitting him directly in the jaw loudly.  
  
"DON'T TOUCH MY CRAIG!!"  
  
Tweek, enraged beyond measure and powered with the energy of coffee addiction and alcohol, let loose with a hail of fists connecting everywhere he could reach as the guy stumbled back in a daze and tried to protect himself.  
  
Craig and his friends stared in total shock, trying to comprehend what they were seeing. The other guys, originally trying to get their friend under control, didn't seem to know what to do as Tweek screeched with fury.  
  
The guy actually managed to catch Tweek's wrists, but before they could react the blonde used the leverage to pull himself forward and up, and with the extra momentum he brought his knee directly into the guy's balls. Every guy on both side winced with sympathy as the drunk let Tweek go and bent over, gasping and moaning, then slowly fell to the floor.  
  
As the other guys friends swarmed around him seeing if he was OK, Craig grabbed Tweek and physically hauled him away. Token threw down some money and he grabbed the crutches as Clyde literally picked Jimmy up and bolted after them.  
  
They raced to the car, crammed in and Token hit the gas.  
  
As the car barrelled down the road, Jimmy, Clyde and Craig stared at Tweek, who turned bright red. "GAH! STOP LOOKING AT ME!"  
  
"What the HELL happened back there?" Craig demanded. He took his boyfriends hand and studied it; it looked red and slightly bruised but not other damage.  
  
"Your boyfriend is a badass is what happened!" Clyde exclaimed. "Seriously, of everything Tweek's got going on I never saw that one coming!"  
  
"He hurt you!" Tweek protested, staring at Craig.  
  
"He pushed me. I was fine!"  
  
Tweek shook his head. "I didn't like him touching you."  
  
"Neither did I." Craig stared at his boyfriend. He was always so protective of Tweek it was unreal to see things from the other side. He was so used to looking after Tweek, to calming him down from panic attacks and making sure he was eating properly, he had no idea what to do with a furious and protective Tweek.  
  
"Did anybody see if there were cameras there?" Clyde asked anxiously. Tweek squawked in fear.  
  
Token shook his head. "If they call the cops the bar gets hit for letting minors in. They'll sweep it under the rug. Besides the guy hit Craig first; it was self-defense. Worst case scenario I'll call my dad."  
  
They made their way back to the hotel in a stunned silence. As a group they made their way to the rooms. As soon as they got in Craig sat Tweek down in a chair.  
  
"OK seriously, what happened back there?"  
  
Tweek turned even redder. "OH JESUS!"  
  
Craig took his hand. "Tweek..."  
  
"I...I was worried about you. I didn't want you to get hurt. GAH! I'M GOING TO JAIL!"  
  
Craig rubbed his back soothingly. It was the weirdest thing; Tweek was back to his old paranoid self again, but he had been a model of confidence and strength at the bar.  
  
"I still don't understand. What on earth possessed you back there?"  
  
"Tweek is a badass is what happened!" Clyde's voice was awed. "Seriously dude, that was incredible. Where did you learn to fight like that?"  
  
"He k...k...kick...ki.....k...kicked C-C-Craig's ass a few years ago before they s..star...started dating. Don't you rememmmm...remember?" Jimmy asked.  
  
Tweek flushed. "When I really care about something I get past my anxiety."  
  
Craig was floored. He knew how much he adored Tweek, but he had never realized just how much Tweek cared in return. He always thought he had to be the strong one because that was what Tweek needed; he had somehow missed just how strong Tweek could be.  
  
Quietly he took Tweek in his arms, feeling him tremble and twitch. Token patted Tweek's shoulder comfortingly. "You did great Tweek. We're all proud of you."  
  
  
  
The next morning was uneventful. Craig ordered room service and he and Tweek had breakfast together. Tweek polished off an entire pot of coffee by himself despite Craig's best efforts.  
  
Craig texted his friends, and Clyde immediately stumbled into their room in his underwear and headed straight for the food. Tweek gave him a piece of toast to tide him over while Token ordered food for them.  
  
Craig shook his head fondly. This weekend had been better than he'd ever thought. Laughter, a fun drive, and most of all seeing Tweek that strong and confident?  
He hoped they did it again soon.


End file.
